Let’s face it: we all need a lover!
(Yes, you read it well)
A lot of people won’t be happy reading this, but believe me, I’m just doing you a favor. Thank me later –or not, that’s up to you– with a big smile on your face, if you finally get it and worked out some things in your life.
Well, first things first.
This is a known fact but commonly ignored because we all are kind of lazy when it’s about a mature relationship: we all need to be the object of affection of somebody, and we need that every single day of our lives, no matter what. We need it so bad, pretty much as we need to eat and breath. Period. And here is where the traditional relationships fail: over the years, the wives get more worried about the dinner than the guy who’s eating it. The husbands get used to seeing their beautiful wives every day, but they forget to really watch, admire, and appreciate. Can you see where this is going?
You don’t need to be a genius to realize why they both lose the North at some point, right? Routine it’s a dangerous serial killer. Always finds you with your guard down, distracted with thousands of meaningless things –someones call this life, but I’m not sure at all, honestly– and when you less expected, BAM! You find yourself so flattered by the way this new work colleague smiled you and cared about your health. Or how the gym instructor saw you and cheered all your hard work and incredible gains with the squats. Then, it all started with a simple text or small talk… and more –it’s ok, right? “This is only a vanilla friendship,” you may think–. And a couple of weeks later, you find yourself spending more time and energy on this “vanilla chats” than with your real partner, the one laying beside you on the bed. Why?
Another fact: the best part when we are starting a romantic relationship, it’s all the hype and excitement about being loved, needed, and desired again by this new partner. We feel unique, alive, plenty of energy, and willing to conquer the world. Right? But we all know that over the years, all of these tend to disappear… or change –and nobody likes changes–. Sadly, our need for care and consideration never ends, and here is where all goes wrong. So, how to combine these two natural things in our lives?
Notwithstanding the answer looks very obvious, it’s not at all. Neither easy.
“When in doubt, go out and ask,” my mother always said. So I did. And after talking with almost a dozen of friends, the conclusion was unanimous: yes, we all need a lover in our lives. But wait!! Don’t misunderstand me. I never said this lover should be a new person or a new relationship. Got it?
And here is a fabulous question for you, my friend: do you deserve to be your partner’s lover? I don’t think so. Otherwise, she/he won’t be interested in anybody else. That simple.
“It’s so easy to blame on the other, but so hard to realize about our own faults.”
When was the last time you surprised her, all dressed up and take her out to a real date? Or when was the last night you seduce him with that special lingerie –yes, that one at the corner of your drawer, rarely used, buried below that old pants you like to use as pijamas–? When?
My guess, it’s you can hardly remember when –and the Anniversary doesn’t count, ok?–. But maybe the right question is not when, but why?
So, YES. We all need a lover, there’s no doubt about it now. It’s up to you to decide who will be yours?
Choose wisely. As if your life depends on that.
Because it is.
I just want to finish by sharing this: I choose my wife as my lover because there is no other person in the world who make me feel like her. I just wish and work every day to make her choose me.
